Friday, June 19, 2009

Can I Get an Amen!

I am all about birth control-and by birth control I mean population control. (I am speaking to you OctoMom). But there has got to be a more attractive way to accomplish said task than this:

Lowering your sperm-count while looking like a d-bag. Awesome.

Who knew ‘Space-Bagging’ could be used as a technique to get into your sister’s pants? (stop thinking dirty, I meant it literally).

I know myself, I have always thought, “Man he is cute, I wonder if he is my size?” Economically speaking of course this would save money on jeans. Next he and I could hopefully share mesh tanks, likely lace etched panties, and if all goes as planned glitter.

(excuse me while I puke)

1. I am into men, not women. (one session of PMS per month is more than I can handle)
2. You stretch my jeans out, I am going to kick your skinny arse right out of them. (or peel you out)
3. If I can see that you are skinnier than me it aint’a’gonna’happen. (as fun as an eating disorder might be…)

Women everywhere should start feeling paranoid that 'He' is scamming on your jeans, not you.

I think you ‘boys’ and your ‘jeans’ (more like sperm killing spandex) are ridiculous.
Anyone with me?

Stay Ugly (but not in those jeans),


  1. No woman should ever date a man that:

    a) can fit in your jeans; and
    b) has a better ass than you....

  2. Before this whol girl's jeans was really popular, I worked with a kid who was wearing girl jeans. I am a social worker and work with a lot of lower income kids and we thought that he was being made to wear them because they didn't have enough money, and we were concerned about it.

    THAT was embarrasssing.

  3. Oh dear god, I just stumbled across your blog and was cracking up the whole time. Hilarious and much agreed!

  4. i swear every boy in my neighborhood is wearing these pants. no matter what their waist measures.

    fat boys in skinny jeans is gross.

    skinny boys in skinny jeans is gross.

  5. A big AMEN from a SITS Member!