Thursday, June 24, 2010

Office Etiquette

Dear girl at my office,

I am tired of you not doing your job. I am have saved your @$$ more times than I can count. Please stop wasting time on Facebook with your farm, virtual cafe, and their stupid quizzes. Instead while you are at work, maybe you should do some actual work. I will let you take the fall next time you eff up.


Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A PSA of sorts

Dear 24 year old at Wal-Mart. Is it really necessary to bring all four (yes, you read that right) of your children with you to the shopping magic kingdom, aka Satan's store? The soup aisle is not an appropriate place to play tag. I can only assume that is what is going on, I don't want to question your incredible parenting skills and think that they are hitting each other. You are obviously the best mother ever. I feel for you I really do it must be hard to have that many children that close in age. I assume they are 9 months and 15 minutes apart (Sweetheart I am going to let you in on a secret, it's ok to use birth control).

May I suggest a couple of solutions. 1. Leave the children with their father/neighbor/friend/etc, etc. etc. I am sure at some point someone can help you. 2. Get yourself a big ole' cup of coffee, you need it. 3. Stay the HELL away from me. I am a get in get out type of person.

Peace out my uglies,

Monday, June 14, 2010

We're Baaaaaaaack!

I Know right? It's been a year, a lot has happened. Don't worry, no babies, no self exploration that made me have the self realization that bitching about others was not a good way to spend my leisurely please do not fret. The Bitch-be-back-in-tact...
What caused the hiatus? It's really none of your deal.
Let's get back to the drawing board...

In the hiatus I realized how much I loathe certain topics of discussion for future posts:
1. Lazy SAHM's (stay at home moms)
2. People who say things like, "It's cold in June, so much for Global Warming!"
3. Men who wear Ed Hardy
4. Passive aggressive things my mother in law says to me.
5. People who read the book, "Skinny Bitch" and then come to realize they are Buddhist...because not eating meat makes you Buddhist...who knew? (ps, I love me some Buddhists-just not the kind that read skinny bitch books)
6. All things BP (see a funny clip below)

Anywho, there are more things I hate...but for now enjoy we are back...
Stay Ugly,